“So… what do you do?” When we ask this question, we are often asking what someone “does for a living,” but it means so much more than that. Yes, we do locate our position in an economy, so responding with a job title is often the quickest and easiest response to this question. “I’m a mechanic,” or “I’m a teacher,” or “I’m a stay-at-home mom,” or even “I’m between jobs” are all appropriate responses to this question, as a role implies the kind of work you do. In some sense the

""...the dividing line between good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" Alexander Sol;zhenitsyn There is a shadow side of ourselves we would rather not acknowledge, but must if self-knowledge is not to devolve into wishful thinking. Failure to address our own darker sides is something about which Enlightenment thinking seems to be in denial. I would like to suggest that this may constitute just one exa

There is a real paradox in intimate relationships. No one wants to be alone, but for someone to be really with you, especially to be a life partner, means you have to get to know each other extremely well, both in your strengths and your weaknesses, your virtues and your vices. The paradox is that in order to attract and develop a relationship with someone, you have to start out putting your best foot forward. You put on the clothes that are the most complimentary, you flirt

Knowing ourselves must surely include knowing not only that but how much our very sense of ourselves is a “mythic reality” by which we convince others of things about ourselves by first convincing ourselves. In the dance of deception, the evolutionary arms race means that we all get pretty good at figuring out when someone is being a “fake,” a “poser,” or any of a number of ways to be less than honest and genuine. This is also why trust is so important, as well as reputation,